São Tomé – São Tomé and Príncipe

After 70 days in West Africa, my time was coming to an end, at least on the mainland it was. What I really needed now was a relaxing holiday on some tropical islands that no one had ever heard of. Before that though, what I absolutely needed was a break from people, some time on my own, somewhere comfy, dare I say almost luxurious. My final three nights in Accra were spent at La Villa Boutique that provided all of the above. A small patch of urban loveliness in an otherwise frantic city, I will not feel guilty about my excitement for a quiet swimming pool, huge comfy bed with air conditioning, hot shower and, bacon for breakfast. Cold beers were brought to me by the pool. Pizza, steak, burgers, pasta, ice cream adorned the menu, I felt no shame making the most of it. Only once did I leave this island of Western inspired greed to sit out on the street eating heated up noodles while watching football on TV. Two very different experiences, both I am fully capable of enjoying. 

After two months of not having to think for myself, the simple routine of heading to the airport became terrifying. Have I got the right paperwork? Are my bags too big and heavy? Will I be late arriving to the airport? Do I have to buy an export certificate for the random shite I had accumulated? My guts were doing summersaults, it was ridiculous. Sure enough, I turned up to the international airport with plenty of time, cruised through everything with the greatest of ease and, as per usual, found myself with a heap of time to burn. Still, that’s the way I like it. Although worryingly my tummy wasn’t feeling as relaxed as the rest of me now was. It’s just a 90-minute flight from Accra to the islands of Sao Tome and Principe, I believe Africa’s second smallest nation with a population of around 200,000. By chance, I had discovered a tour of the islands that coincided with the end of my nine-week tour of the mainland and had decided it was a perfect excuse to visit while in the area. Apparently, it is a popular destination for Portuguese families judging by the number getting off the TAP Air flight (pretty much the only international carrier to the islands) and the fact it’s an ex-colony of Portugal. It was around 7pm by the time I had checked into my hotel after which I met up for an awesome dinner with Annabel and Rosanna who had spent the past four weeks driving me around West Africa. They had decided to fly over and spend a few days exploring the island independently during a bit of downtime before heading back to Accra and turning the truck north back to the UK with a new group.

It’s not the first time I’ve found myself on an African island lying on the bathroom floor in the foetal position, unable to move, residual vomit aggravating my nostrils, clutching onto dear life; only this time it didn’t involve alcohol. My grumbling tummy had continued through the previous evening and finally revealed its hand around 6am the following morning. This was pushing a five out of five as my body went into an involuntary full detox. My diary for the day simply begins with ‘woke up around 6am and shat myself to death’. By some miracle I had a free day, the first eight hours of which I spent alternating between nervous sleep and the bathroom. Even more remarkably, by mid-afternoon I felt a smidgen better. Well enough to get to reception to change some cash and watch a Six Nations match as a I frantically attempted to rehydrate. I skipped the 7pm tour welcome meeting, went back to bed, and prayed for a speedy recovery. I woke the following morning around 6.30am after a pretty solid night’s sleep (no pun intended) and was further blessed with the perfect start to my day. I went to breakfast hungry but wary of overindulgence. There was no excuse not to do it right as all the ingredients were there, a banana, a fresh piece of bread and camomile tea. The ham, cheeses, fruit, and all the other goodies would have to wait until I had regained confidence in my sphincter. To wrap up a great breakfast, no one else was there other than one lone gentleman which meant I returned to my room having avoided all introductory chat with the group and able to fully concentrate on my physical state. Still, before checking out, I took an Imodium for safety. 

At 9am I began meeting the group as we piled into a couple of cars and commenced what turned out to be a full-on day. Heading south along the barely used coastal road, we first stopped off at an old colonial cocoa and palm processing plant that has now been turned into a museum, a plastic recovery and recycling centre, and an educational facility for young children. Something that will no doubt be repeated often is the fact it was so bloody hot and humid in Sao Tome and Principe, like unbelievably so. Hardly surprising as it sits on the equator but still, it was setting new records for the amount I could sweat while standing still. We drove up the hill on a cobbled road, past greying ex-colonial homes and stopped at the derelict ex-colonial hospital. It’s the only way to describe the country at this point, bloody hot, tropical, and ex-colonial. To see the empty shell of the hospital was heart-breaking, in part because I am sure the locals would appreciate a bit of healthcare on their doorstep and also, more selfishly, the fact it would make an incredible hostel with four separate wards splintering off from the main building. There were also the commanding views it offered across the village, nestled in the trees all the way down to the coast. This is where we headed next. It was breathtaking. The green of the trees and grass suddenly gave way to rich black volcanic rock worn smooth by the white of the surf smashing up against it. We gawped, took many photos, sweated some more, and drove on. One hour later we pulled up on a straight stretch of smartly paved road to get our first look at a rock. Pico Cao Grande is a needle shaped chunk of stone peaking at 663 metres and it looked impressive at a distance. We drove another 15 minutes to a viewpoint where it looked even more impressive, jutting out from a sea of trees and reaching for the menacing clouds overhead. What we were drooling over was the remains of an ancient volcano that has been gradually worn away leaving only the plug of magma which has proved far more resistant to the elements. It’s Sao Tome’s flagship tourism advert, and so it should be. 

We stopped for lunch at the southern end of the island – yes, it’s that small. It was no ordinary lunch as we got out of the vehicles to be met by some of the most pristine coastline in the world, complete with palm trees leaning down to the golden sands. This would be our view for the next hour as we sat up on a deck that overlooked the utopian scene eating some very tasty fresh fish and octopus. I was desperate for a beer to complete the occasion, but for once in my life I played it sensible. This was a good decision. We spent the next two hours walking along the coastline to the ecolodge that we would be staying at for the next two nights and what a walk it was. Along beautiful beaches, through forests of palm trees and wildflowers, a little up, a little down, all as the sun began to set over the Atlantic Ocean. I didn’t want it to end but, at the same time, I was done. By the time we arrived to the ecolodge it was getting dark and as much as I wanted to jump in the sea for a swim off another ridiculously beautiful beach, I instead checked into my delightful chalet, drank as much water as I could hold and, took a 45-minute nap. I woke feeling much refreshed and ready for dinner, determined not to have a beer. I rocked up at the restaurant and propped myself up against the bar where the barman immediately went to the fridge and grabbed a magnificent looking bottle of beer before I had even said a word. How did he already know me so well? I could have sobbed, I felt like I was back at my old local in Dorset. And then I did sob as I rejected the beer and instead asked for a coke and a bottle of water. Despite the 24-hour biological terrorist attack – picked up in Ghana – Sao Tome and Principe has already surpassed my wildest expectations. I knew little of it before my arrival and saw it merely as a place to wind down after the mayhem of overlanding for nine weeks. However, it turns out that there is another way to describe Sao Tome and Principe and, after only one day. It is quite possibly the most stunningly beautiful country I have ever visited. 

12^th February 2024