Dubrovnik – Croatia

It’s always a sad start to the day when a number 2 sounds like a number 1 and it takes several Imodiums before feeling confident enough to leave the house. It’s even worse having to stand in a crowded bus on the way to a crowded boat that is scheduled to arrive at a tiny island unlikely to have exceptional facilities. Fortunately for me Lokrum island boasted exceptional and free public toilets, void of people and thus allowing me one final check that I was indeed empty and unlikely to embarrass myself over the next few hours. It’s a sad sign of old age that I should find myself in such a state in a major European town. Lokrum island sits a short boat ride away from Dubrovnik’s old harbour and comes highly recommended and for good reason. Home to a monastery, an old fort, walking trails, and a nudist beach, there is a little something for everyone and although the ferry may be busy, the island is surprising quiet. Of course, the further we walked the quieter it became and although hiking up a rocky track in flip-flops was far from ideal, the views from the fort were spectacular. We have been blessed with clear blue skies and 30oC days yet a sea breeze and plenty of trees made our walk around Lokrum most pleasurable. To cap it off we stopped at a tiny pebble beach and whipped out a picnic, cooled off in the sea, and dozed merrily under a bush. Observing the other people present was most interesting, both young and old with a disproportionately large number reading books while lounging in the sun and not a smart phone in sight; I almost wept.

After a lazy day on the beach we returned to Lokrum, this time by kayak. Kayaking has become a ‘bonding exercise’ according to my better half, one that we currently excel at but likely to test our mettle in August when we attempt a whole week of kayaking in the cold. On this occasion we were blessed as one of only three couples in the group, much to our young chain-smoking kayak guide’s delight. Setting out in the heat of the day we paddled past the old town’s walls, halting for passing boats who according to our guide may often be piloted by gentlemen who have downed one too many alcoholic beverages. We were then asked if we would like to paddle all the way around Lokrum island and then visit a ‘hidden’ cave or, head straight over to the cave. Considering we had signed up to three hours of kayaking and we needed some training, I was relieved when the group finally mumbled a consensus of attempting the circumnavigation that was likely to take 90 minutes and may end relationships. As it turns out, our guide was quite the pessimist as we rounded the island in under an hour including a stop at a cave next-door to the well endowed nudist beach. It can hardly be described as a nudist beach for there was no beach. It resembled something more akin to a seal colony, only with pasty strange men lounged over the rocks with their meatballs sizzling away. One chap appeared to be prepping himself for a Tinder selfie or was simply attempting to maintain an illusion of grandeur, then again he may simply have been applying sunscreen. It was hard to tell and I won’t lie that the lack of ladies caused my interest to wane quickly. The ‘hidden’ cave was remarkably easy to find but it was at least quiet as we parked up the kayaks, disembarked, and enjoyed a sandwich before going for a swim with the local fish population. Shortly after, I surfaced from the water and was greeted with the view of an armada of kayaks heading over the horizon and directly towards us. Before long, the cave was littered with kayaks, paddles and their operators, and I took great pleasure in evacuating and making a causal paddle back towards town. Pulling into a beautiful little cove and alongside a tiny concrete jetty, I was met by a helpful chap who took my paddle and offered his hand to pull me up and out of the kayak. I was most grateful up to the point where I found my head flying towards his Speedo for the briefest but most terrifying of seconds with memories of the nudist beach still very vivid. It was time for a beer. We then went for a wine, after which it was time for our final excursion of the day.

We had luckily chosen to swap hiking up Srd Hill with kayaking as we judged it would be too bloody hot to hike up the hill in the middle of the day and sunset would be better there than out on the water. It was a wise decision as we negotiated the never ending switchbacks that delivered us 800 metres above the Adriatic and to a fort built by Napoleon and used to defend Dubrovnik during a siege in 1991. We could have just taken the cable car of course. But where’s the fun in that!? Reaching the fort in a sweaty mess but with time to spare before sunset we felt it right to visit the museum within the fort dedicated to all that fought to protect Dubrovnik during the war in the early 90s. Naturally, it was the one museum we visited all week that took only cash and required a good day to read, watch, and digest everything within its walls. Everywhere we had visited down in town was small and of varying interest. This museum, up on the hill, commanding magnificent views, with rock walls so thick that modern weaponry couldn’t bring them down demanded time and respect. Unfortunately, time wasn’t quite on our side and so after an hour or so of learning about the horrors of yet another war we headed off outside to find an altogether more peaceful spot to watch a magnificent sunset over the islands of the Adriatic. There was one floor to my ingenious plan to avoid using the cable car. As with the majority of countries around the world when the sun sets darkness usually follows and Croatia is no exception. It goes without saying that the final 10 minutes hiking back down a super rocky and now extremely dark path wasn’t too much fun although basking in the glow of my decision to wear hiking shoes and not stubbornly don flip-flops helped ease the way a little. It is safe to say that my return to Croatia has been quite the success and although I would highly recommended getting out to the villages less travelled, Dubrovnik has to be visited. Even a lazy pig of a traveller like me can find places away from the crowds and most importantly, for a man racing towards middle-age establishment, Croatian wine is divine.